Feed Rat

Saturday, May 19, 2012

It's Me Babie !!




She trapped you ?? I'll set you free !!






You might be thinking, 'when he looks at me, i bet you he doesn't feel a thing.'But.. do any of us really know that? He could be looking at you and wishing you two didn't mess things up.He could still care about you, you just don't want to believe it because the way he acts around you. Ignoring you, not looking you in the eye.. Maybe he is really the one who would want you in his life, maybe not as much, but it's better than nothing at all, right?





I wanna tell you how I feel, but I'm scared. Scared of being hurt again. Scared of you not feeling the same way. Scared of falling harder. You understand me. You make me smile. Really smile. I never thought I'd like you the way I do. I had to stop myself before, but now I'm not strong enough to do that anymore.




I'm afraid I'll end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always going to be the 'sister' or 'friend' or the 'confidant', not quite somebody's everything. I'm scared that I'll never find a guy that I'll love as much as I love you.




I hate those moments right before you go to sleep, when you are forced to think about all the things you tried so hard to forget.




I want a Cinderella Story, A Notebook Romance, A Walk To Remember true-to-death love. And to be completely honest, I want you and only you. I want to stop wishing for you at 11:11 because you're already mine. I want to draw your name in hearts and not feel guilty. I want to stop sitting up at night praying to God to make you mine. I want to be with you, and only you. I want to text you day and night, I want to hug you and never let go, I want you to kiss me on the cheek, just to be spontaneous, I want to hold hands with you and show you off to the world. I want you, and only you.




Just once I want someone to look at me and right away and think I was beautiful. Not after they get to know me, or after they see inside my soul, just me. I want to walk in a room and light up, not blend.




Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn't need a man, be that girl who never backed down.




I'm that girl. The one afraid of lightening, and has this weird fear of a clown living under her bed. I'm the girl who writes down her emotions, and if you can tell something's wrong - you're one of the only.




At some point, you've got to man up and jump. you've got to quit being scared of the "maybes" and "what-ifs" and just freaking jump. quit cheating yourself out of the best thing that could ever happen to you, quit cheating him out of what he's wanted for so long, and just fall. fall hard, fall long, and fall forever.




I didn't have the heart to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do. But I didn't have the heart to love you, not the way you wanted me too.




You let go, so now it's my turn. I can accept that, but when I find happiness, don't decide you love me.




You walked away from me. You just left me standing there, on my own. I showed you the real me and you did nothing. I gave you my heart and you broke it in pieces. So don't ask me if I'm okay, because honestly, you know I'm not.




Shut the hell up and stop trying to make me regret what I'm saying or make me feel bad. You might of cared or liked me or whatever, I can't read your mind, but the point is you sure as hell didn't show it and that's the part that matters. All you had to do was call me at night and hangout with me a little but you... were too busy trying to act like you didn't care, to show that you did. And I'm sick of waiting around for something that isn't going to happen cause I've been back and forth with you long enough to know that it's gonna be this way as long as I let it.




For once, don't let me down. Don't give my friends another chance to say, "I told you so." Don't let my faith in you be a waste.




Maybe thats my problem. I open up to too many people, expecting them to do the same for me. And being crushed when i find out Im just not worth it.




I trusted you.. I was finally ready to let my guard down after being hurt so many times & what did you do? Took advantage of it. I told you my biggest secrets, fears and dreams. I was so happy and you then took that smile off my face in a second. You fucked everything up, apparently shes much more important that i ever was.




You're only as strong as the tables you dance on, the drinks you mix, and the friends you roll with.




I need the smell of summer. to wake up to the sound of lawnmowers, and sleeping till noon. i need the smell of chlorine pool hair in my face, and laughing non-stop with my best friends. i need drama free days full of bonfires and camping. i need a break from caring.




When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.




The ones depressed don’t dress in black. The ones who believe they’re fat don’t announce it. The ones scared don’t scream. The ones struggling don’t show their scars. The ones hurting the most are the ones hidden.




Seriously, if you ever need someone to vent to or just someone to listen to you, I'll be that person. Even if I'm not friends with you. Fuck it, even if I don't know you, you can talk to me. Message me or find another way of contacting me. I don't care who you are, I'll be there for you if you need someone to talk to.




No matter how painful your decision has been, as long as you can sleep well at night, it means you did the right choice.




Eventually, everything ends. Age doesn't guarantee maturity. Love doesn't mean you'll always be together. Things don't always happen like you imagined. Being the bigger person, takes a big effort.




I don't know, i mean, i want to be his friend. but then again, i don't. you know? i mean how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them you're thinking about how much more you really want.




Just pretend you don't care. And don't be surprised when he comes crawling back saying he made a mistake. And if you want to go, go with him again. But make him work for you. Don't be his doormat. Don't let him in the first time he rings the bell. Make him come back every day until you trust him enough. If he doesn't come back after a couple of tries, just let him go. But if he comes back every day, then he's worth it. Trust me, he's worth it.




I thought I knew you. But I guess it's easier to see what we want than to look for the truth. You think you know me but you don't. And that means you don't know what I can do.

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